THE JUICE IS LOOSE!!

"PatBateman" (PatBateman) 07/20/2017 at 15:00 • Filed to: White Bronco Lyfe

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OJ Simpson has been granted parole. Either run for the hills or celebrate, depending on your thoughts on the matter.

I’ll be mehing over here at my desk.

wkiernan > PatBateman 07/20/2017 at 15:05

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He’ll probably murder someone.

PatBateman > wkiernan 07/20/2017 at 15:08

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Murder someone?! Why would he do that?! Mr. Simpson, outside of this one unfortunate event, has NEVER been found guilty of any such crime!! Saying that he would kill is libel, I’ll have you know!!

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > PatBateman 07/20/2017 at 15:09

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Hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your old Bronco, hide your deposit for the new Bronco.

Die-Trying > PatBateman 07/20/2017 at 15:10

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JUICE IS LOOSE........

PatBateman > BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo 07/20/2017 at 15:11

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I want an old white Bronco. Do you know what I could do with that on Halloween?!?!

Also, Coyote swap.

Jcarr > PatBateman 07/20/2017 at 15:12

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Dem Caprices...

victor > PatBateman 07/20/2017 at 15:14

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He was exonerated from the criminal case. He lost the civil lawsuit. I think he was in jail for theft in this case.

DipodomysDeserti > PatBateman 07/20/2017 at 15:18

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Ash78, voting early and often > PatBateman 07/20/2017 at 15:31

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“I’m down with Dre like AC is down with OJ” — Ice Cube

Rarely has a celebrity commanded so much of my entire life arc, from childhood football star and Hertz shill, to murderer, to making Kardashian a household name, to profiting from murder (books), to this surreal Vegas thing.

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > wkiernan 07/20/2017 at 15:34

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Been there, done that!

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > PatBateman 07/20/2017 at 15:36

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Right now the Ford marketing team is mulling this news over.

“I mean we do have a new Bronco coming out” No one rolls their eyes, they were all thinking it.

ttyymmnn > PatBateman 07/20/2017 at 15:37

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In other news, OJ is 70 years old. It feels like 70 years ago that all this shit went down.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > PatBateman 07/20/2017 at 15:38

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Meh...

PatBateman > Jcarr 07/20/2017 at 15:40

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Don’t forget about the Crown Vic in the back of the pack!!

PatBateman > victor 07/20/2017 at 15:42

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The jury was skewed in the civil trial. The judge was crooked. The plaintiff attorney had paid off all of the above. HE’S INNOCENT, I TELL YA!!

PatBateman > DipodomysDeserti 07/20/2017 at 15:43

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He juked the remaining 24+ years of his sentence.

PatBateman > Ash78, voting early and often 07/20/2017 at 15:44

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For better or for worse, he truly is an iconic figure in American pop culture

PatBateman > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 07/20/2017 at 15:45

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10/10 would buy the AC Special Edition 2019 Bronco.

Ash78, voting early and often > PatBateman 07/20/2017 at 15:45

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He’s the first/best example I can think of where Natural Born Killers started coming true in real life (after the movie came out, that is).

PatBateman > ttyymmnn 07/20/2017 at 15:46

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The Juice is now wine.

PatBateman > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 07/20/2017 at 15:46

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Same. I’m just riding the hype train because it’s fun.

DrDDay > PatBateman 07/20/2017 at 16:15

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One of my biggest regrets in life is that I was just down the street from OJ when he was arrested at the Hotel/Casino in Vegas. I had the opportunity to hang out with the Juice and I missed it by a couple blocks.

ranwhenparked > PatBateman 07/20/2017 at 20:53

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Where it damn well belonged (at the time).

ranwhenparked > DrDDay 07/20/2017 at 20:55

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You might have even had the chance to get him drunk enough to distract him from executing his plan. Of course, intervening could also have resulted in things playing out much worse.

DrDDay > ranwhenparked 07/20/2017 at 21:07

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Why on earth would I have wanted to stop him from kicking in a hotel room door and attempting to steal back his Heisman?

I wanted to be there when the plan was getting laid out. Plus could you imagine the memories of hanging with The Juice for an evening?

ranwhenparked > DrDDay 07/20/2017 at 21:41

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Oh, totally. I’d still go drinking with him right now. He’s freaking OJ Simpson - he was in all the Naked Gun movies AND The Towering Inferno !

6691 zapS > PatBateman 07/21/2017 at 01:17

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How about some,“discussion”, with O.J., I’d be down for that.

pip bip - choose Corrour > PatBateman 07/21/2017 at 06:47

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meh for me too tbh